Raising Your Teenagers-Top 6 Ways To Pave The Road
- PRAYER - This is #1 for a reason. Without God's guidance, I would not be making it through these years. Be careful when you ask God to give you patience with your teens, though...the road to get there can be a rocky one. However, DO ask for safety throughout the day for your teens and a clear mind. DO ask God to guide your teens heart. DO ask God to help your teens make sound decisions.
- K.I.T. - KEEP IN TOUCH with your teens. Your teens need to know you are a constant in their lives. They need to know you love them NO MATTER WHAT! Ask them how their day was. Ask them what they learned. Ask them who their newest crush is (my daughters' answers' change almost daily). Ask them if they need to talk to you about anything. Send them a text message (not during school) and tell them you love them or send them some stupid picture of you to make them smile.
- GIVE THEM RESPONSIBILITIES - I always tell my daughters', "I'm not here to make you happy and your life fun all the time. I'm here to help you to grow up to be successful, responsible adults." If they aren't given responsibilities now, they will never make it as adults. And let's face it, if they are at home completing the tasks you've assigned them, they aren't out getting into trouble.
- GET THEM INVOLVED - This really could be construed as more of a strategy than anything, however, get your teens involved in things. Church youth groups can be great...they go to amusement parks, concerts, cook-outs. However, they also do things like reaching out to help in the community, help out the elderly with things that they can't do any longer, missions trips to help out places that have experienced a natural disaster or places that are poverty stricken to help improve someones quality of life. Another thing to consider with this is that your teen may be college bound. Being involved somehow in the community is something that is looked at on scholarship and college applications. Volunteer work is ALWAYS in demand. It's great to help your teen find something that will help them in their chosen field of study. For example, my daughter wants to be a marine biologist. My other daughter is considering a veterinarian. There are many volunteer opportunities to help them with their fields of study...volunteering at the zoo, the humane society, a local equestrian center, or even dog-walking.
- LAUGH - May sound stupid but it's true. I love to make my daughters laugh. Their laughter makes them feel good and it makes me feel good. Laughter is healing. It releases stress after a horrible day.
- Lastly, APOLOGIZE - Even with God's help, I'm not perfect. Your teens need to know that you are aware of that and that you love them enough to apologize when you've misjudged them, falsely accused them, hurt their feelings in some way...whatever the case may be. I've gone into my daughters rooms at night just to wake them to tell them I'm sorry. They normally respond with a smile, an "I love you." and on occasion, I've even gotten, "Thank you for apologizing." If you're REALLY lucky, your teen will learn to apologize to you too.
Although those are the top 6 things that have relieved some stressful times raising my teens, I have to also throw in to make sure you take some time out for YOU to refresh. Read...it's an escape from reality. Talk with other parents of teens. It'll help you see that maybe yours aren't so bad after all. Join some parenting forums. When the day has finally come to send your teen off to college, you can know that you did everything you could possibly do to raise your baby to be a happy, successful, responsible adult who can stand on their own...hopefully!
Best wishes...
